Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Moderating Internet Forums

Dumb people love to feel powerful with little or no accountability, and the internet gives them plenty of opportunity to do this. This is unlike the real world, where incompetence is harder to hide.

Just having the title of moderator is enough for any dumb person to drool with delight.

However, smart people know that having power online means shit. But dumb people see it as a way to "flex" muscles they don't actually have.

Hiding behind the anonymity of the internet, dumb people can cause all sorts of problems. And when people complain about their actions they immediately adopt a classic defensive posture; you'd think you were making fun of their breast or dick size.

Not knowing how to rationally explain themselves, dumb moderators hide behind nonsensical forum policies and address complaints by referring people to these policies — it's easier to do this than explain themselves in a way that makes sense.

With no checks and balances in place, some go on to become very heavy-handed, banning people based on a whim.

Plentyoffish (POF) is one of the worst places for moderator abuse of power. POF moderators are comprised of social rejects, insecure retards, and all sorts of individuals with personality issues, who use the internet medium as carte blanche for their recklessness. The moderators on POF love to delete forum threads that don't follow certain narrow and retarded standards, calling it "democratic" with the stipulation that the only vote that counts is theirs. They also love to ban "problem members" for ridiculous periods of time, such as until 2020, or even 2050 (if they're having a particularly bad day).

Even calling them on their dumbness won't work, as they'll just delete you for being a nuisance. Drunk on having this kind of power, this is no doubt met with extreme satisfaction on their end, probably accompanied with copious amounts of drooling plus cackling.

The problem is compounded if a group of dumb moderators are working together, who police the forum like retarded nazis who don't have the intelligence to be nazis in real life.

So how do dumb people become forum moderators in the first place? It's because smart people normally don't care to do it, as they've got better things to do. This leaves mostly dumb people who are left to take on the role. It's an opening for people who are not deriving satisfaction from their own lives in the real world, but finally have a chance to show who's boss in the virtual world.

Behind every shit head moderator online is a fucking idiot in real life.

They frequently use "intelligence boosting" tools to make themselves appear smarter online than they actually are; tools such as a thesaurus, which can fool others into thinking that they know their shit and are therefore well suited to the title of "moderator".

Another virtual advantage is that they can avoid real-time responses. Dumb forum moderators usually don't respond to grievances or complaints right away (since their mental capacity is limited). They can take their time to cut-and-paste "intelligent" sounding phrases from various sources (in addition to using a thesaurus). This will enhance the "abstractive" quality of their responses to make it seem like they know what they're talking about.

Furthermore, you will never get a personalized (direct) response from these moderators. They will always veil their response in "forum policy" snippets, and if you question it they'll just tell you that the "rules" apply to everyone (meaning that everyone gets screwed equally).

The best way to avoid these types of moderators is to only use forums that have a limited and select number of users. This keeps the number of required moderators low, and makes it more likely that the moderators will be a select group, chosen by the webmaster, who himself is (hopefully) not a dummy.

Friday, 5 June 2009

40 Year Mortgages

This one doesn't need a lot of explanation. One only needs to know that the interest paid for a 40 year mortgage is huge. With a standard interest rate of 6% you're paying close to three times the original value of the house after all the payments have been added up over the 40 years.

Ah, but all that matters to some people is being able to make that monthly payment. And the banks are laughing all the way to the, well... bank.

Wednesday, 3 June 2009

Helicopter Parenting

These days, colleges and universities are struggling with ways to deal with dumb parents who watch their kids a little too closely.

This relatively new phenomenon arose as the kids of the baby boomers started coming of age and going to college. And because the "Me" generation is inherently selfish they have a hard time letting go of "possessions", and tend to get involved in every aspect of their kids lives.

The original "Me" generation has created the Mini-Me generation.

They want "Johnny" to do well in school so they "hover" and check up to make sure he doesn't make mistakes. It's as if they fear that their kid's mistakes will be a poor reflection on them. So they check up on them, smother them with assistance in their daily matters, and even call (harass) the instructors when their kids don't get the grades they want.

The cell phone has become the worlds longest umbilical, allowing daily contact between parents and kids to resolve issues such as money, laundry, choosing classes, and dealing with roommates.

Dumb baby boomers treat their kids as an extension of themselves, not as unique individuals who need to find their own way.

They are not allowing their kids to fend for themselves, preferring to coddle them to bolster their own self-image. The Me generation knows no bounds. The latest addition to their (mis)deeds is this helicopter phenomenon in which they micro-manage their kids lives, preferring not to let them experience life directly, and making sure they perform as well as they would like because they are "my kids and I want to be proud!" It's the latest screw-up dumb baby boomers have added to their list of fuck ups (e.g. the Social Security fiasco).

This delusional self-worth will also be the reason why many baby boomers won't want to retire from their workplace when the time comes, feeling they are needed too much, even when they are fervently encouraged to leave!

Wanting Casual Sex And Calling Women "Sluts"

Some men sabotage their own efforts to get laid. They complain that it's difficult to get sex on demand, but at the same time they refer to "easy" women as sluts. It's a disturbing combination but quite common.

And of course, this confuses some women into not having sex right away else they be called a slut. But this introduces another issue, the possibility of being called a prude -- which men also hate.

This points to the internal conflict some men experience, and don't have the mental capacity to resolve. Sexual frustration is apparently no cure for stupidity.

Doomsday Predictions

The end of the world is something dumb people love to worry about. It's always a few years away from the present time. But so far the projected day has always come and gone. But that doesn't discourage dumb people. Their thinking is, we'll get it right one of these times.

Sounding the doomsday alarm sort of made sense around the time of the new millennium (since it's a nice round number). But now that we are well past it you get doomsdayers pulling dates out of their ass. It seems the next due date for Armageddon is 2012.

The most popular doomsday predictions are those substantiated with marginal historical facts, maybe related to some obscure lunar cycle, or tied to some old relic found in some ruins somewhere, or the most popular -- an old Mayan calendar that alludes to 2012 as the end-of-world date; the justification being that they really knew their shit when it came to mathematics and astronomy, which apparently implies the ability to predict the future.

If you want to get rich fast, now is probably the time to start cashing in. Go into the generator selling business, or start making Armageddon survival kits. You can probably even make T-shirts, "End of Days 2012", a great way to help dumb people build comradery as the big day approaches.

Fox News

One of the most biased sources of anti-news is hugely popular with dumb people. It is ideologically skewed to the right and appeals to the rotting underbelly of American politics. The Fox news website, under the guise of being "fair and balanced" is the counterweight for lowering awareness and intelligence. If you find yourself asking too many questions or thinking critically about the world then Fox news is where you go to dumb down.

Reader comments on the website often consist of nonsensical half-witted grammatically challenged diatribes against Obama, and anything to the left of Bush policies.

The site is frequented by religious types who love to quote scripture when trying to prove a point. Fox news is in fact a media outlet for fanatical Americanism. It attracts patriotic dumb Americans like moths to a flame.

The site attracts certain kinds of dummies; whose dangerous bigotry is (fortunately) mitigated only by their outright stupidity.

If you teach a monkey how to use the internet he'll leave a comment on the Fox news website.