Sunday, 18 January 2009

Writing Mediocre Personal Ads And Expecting Quality Responses

Many people write online personal ads that have little in the way of unique personal content. They write things that are very generic, with little substance and which don't offer anything insightful to the reader. And the reader, usually having nothing to work with, can only send a simple one-liner like: "I like your profile. Let's chat." The person then reads this and deletes the message because it's "too boring" and shows "no effort" on their part to get to know them. Well duh, it's because they have nothing to work with!

The overwhelming majority of the time this scenario plays out with women. So let's focus on that.

There are many dumb women who put up superficial personal ads and are swamped with responses, only to reject all of them because they lack substance. Most of the women who do this are the ones who spend a lot of time on makeup and clothes in order to attract a "mate". They then take pictures of themselves, upload them, throw in a sub par profile, and assume that's enough.

But ironically, given that the bulk of the profile is contained in the pictures, it cannot be the basis for a response - it would be chastised as "superficial" and quickly discarded. So the only alternative is to base a response on the sub par profile itself.

But really, how can someone write something of substance in response to:

"I'm 28. Very successful. I'm looking for a guy with a great sense of humor and who likes dogs. I'm very laid back and like things like camping, candlelight dinners and walks on the beach. I enjoy life and am looking for that special someone who will give me butterflies. I'm looking for someone who is interested in the same things as me. If you think we might be a match send me a message."

Now, what the heck can a guy write in response to that?

"Hi, I'm very successful too, and I like dogs. Let's talk"

"Hi, I also like camping and walks on the beach. I think we might have a lot in common! P.S. luv the profile!"

"The fact that I enjoy life too means we are probably meant for each other."

Now, in her mind these will sound fake. And it's true, they are fake. They are attempts by guys reaching out to women using any means they can think of. But because the women are giving them nothing to work with they are in fact over-reaching. And it makes them appear needy.

So here's the result of this. There are only two possibilities:

1. Receive boring lame responses from men. Result: delete and no hook up.

2. Receive no responses because the men are smart enough to know it's a dead end (unlikely since there are way too many needy guys online). Result: no hook up.

It's a lose-lose situation. No matter what happens, these women will never meet anyone, and will never understand why. All they'll have to show for it is frustration that there's no "good men", and some version of carpal tunnel; the result of being a serial message-deleter.

1 comment:

Tight Banana said...

Perhaps women who post these sorts of profiles have little idea who they are and what they want. They all seem to desire being "swept off their feet," probably after watching some chick flick that reinforces princess syndrome. Many women are not all that independent at all, unfortunately.