Thursday, 11 December 2008

Asking Others For Advice On What's Best For Them

When it comes to making life decisions dumb people are notorious for asking other people what they should do. It's important to them to find out what other people would do if they were them.

The disconnect is that other's opinions can only be based on what they would do if they were faced with the same decision. This is usually based on personal preferences, which is not necessarily the same as those of the dumb person.

The trap is that the advice given usually leads to more questions on what to do. For example, "I tried what you said and it didn't work. What do you think I should do now?" It becomes like an ongoing struggle to find out what other people would do if they were you and then not being satisfied with the answer (since you are not them).

Somehow, the need for approval is too powerful to resist. The fear is usually that something bad may happen if they don't do what others would approve of.

Their motto is: Better to fail having followed instructions than failing on my own terms. This is one main reason why dumb people stay dumb. They don't actually learn from their own mistakes.

Asking others what type of car they should get. Consulting friends when filling out surveys asking questions like "what is your favorite color?" Wanting to know "when is it okay to...", or "what do you think of..."

Online forums are common for these kinds of questions. Dummies are especially dense (pun intended) in places where people go for advice. They practically short-circuit themselves trying to manage all the "options". They have serious trouble with the concept of "individual". How does that fit with what other people think, they may ask.

Introspection is completely alien to them. Their network of friends extends for every major decision. As long as they know where to go when they are confused they are happy. The path towards consensus and approval is well traveled by them.

If you want to influence a dumb person say something like

"I know a lot of people that do this"

"Everyone knows that it's best to do this"

"If you don't do this you are (insert negative association)"

But if you say to them "You dummy! Figure it out for yourself" they will probably get offended.

No comments: